Confidence is such a nice word, it makes us feel good about ourselves, so how come it doesn't come naturally to many of us?
"So many people are shut up tight inside themselves likes boxes, yet they would open up, unfolding quite wonderfully, if only you were interested in them." Sylvia Platt
As a toddler, we are very bold and confident in all that we do. We act up, pretend play with such conviction. We were untouchable. But as we grow older, we are told that we cannot do certain things and that we must remain within our boundaries. Okay, this isn't a bad idea, especially, if we are being rude or out of control, but if we are trying something new and get criticised for it, we develop a fear for trying out new things in case of failure. However, if we were praised for the same effort, we then become confident exploring new ideas in adulthood. This is just one of many examples.
"With confidence, you have won before you have started." Marcus Garvey
When I was growing up my mother, bless her, thought she was doing me a favour my saying "you can do better" or "it's not good enough." This would make some kids want to do better but I just wanted to give up. Negative comments made by insensitive relatives, teachers or other children can stick with us for the rest of our lives, like a tape recorder playing in our heads over and over again until it becomes a part of us.
"The eyes of others our prisons; their thoughts our cages." Virginia Woolf
If we know that the way we think about ourselves is not our real self, especially, if these thoughts are damaging, then we need to erase that tape in our heads and replace it with healthy positive thoughts. A good book which delves into how we can deal with thoughts is called Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life by Dr Dwayne W Dyer.
"I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything but I can do something. And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do." Edward Everett Hale
I see myself as an architect. I can plan to be whatever I want to be and work towards that goal. If I don't like the end product, I start all over again. You need to be deliberately conscious to be able to do that because we can easily get caught up in lives that we build for ourselves, good or bad. Nevertheless, most of us are, unconfident in unfamiliar situations/work etc, me included. The solution to this is either we learn all we can about the situation before we approach it or admit that we do not know how to deal with it and ask for help. We cannot know everything in life even if we live to be 100 years old.
"A great man is always willing to be little." Ralph Waldo Emerson
If you want to be seen as confident, then start acting confident. It doesn't matter how you feel inside, even if you feel like a fraud. When people see your confidence, they start believing in you and treat you differently. This in turn will help build your self-esteem. Keep practising until it becomes a natural part of you.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt
We need confidence to accomplish the things we want in life. So, it's important to work on our confidence.
"When you have confidence, you can have a lot of fun. And when you have fun, you can do amazing things." Joe Namath
I leave you with this quote for inspiration "the most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence."
Be bold with confidence
Act with diligence
Walk with elegance
Talk with compassion
Work with a passion
Don't be afraid
To be out of fashion
Because you are
A new mode of fashion
Dare to show flair
S R Lore
I am a person who is into self development and I am always learning and striving to be the best of myself. I like to empower others to make a difference in theirs and others lives. I also like to express myself creatively through poetry. "I'm an architect, of myself...."